time

there just isn't enough of it. in a day, a week, a month, or even the year. and...i.don't.like.it.

a few weeks ago, john gave notice to the part-time position (mantle shop) he's been working for 9 years now. it became difficult for him (and on him) to be out of the house two days a week from the time he would leave for berks in the am and not arrive home until after 8 or 9 pm. that made for a long day for me of getting tony ready in the morning and out the door, going to work and coming home and taking care of tony, the house, etc. it was taking it's toll on me and on john as he was missing out on so much time with anthony in the evenings. tony would typically be in bed before john would get home, which would lead to there sometimes being 2 days straight where john wouldn't even see anthony awake, let alone get to have any "fun" time with him.

we discussed and felt it would be better for john to pick up some side work on the weekends (one or two good paying jobs a month, which he'd already been doing on top of mantles). this would, not always easily, make up for the loss of income we'd be taking by him leaving mantles. we'd have to make some changes, but ultimately, it's his health and the health and happiness of our family that is most important...we'll manage. it was with a heavy heart that he gave the notice to his boss. a man who had become a good friend...a man who, as a father himself, understood john's reasons more than some would.

last week marked the first week that john didn't have to work in the evening. it wasn't quite an accurate portrayel of how our weeknight's would be as anthony was in disney all week, but already i could see it was going to be a good thing. today ends the first week of our "new schedule" and all i can say is...

i.love.it.

we have eaten dinner by 6/6:30 every night as a family (as opposed to two meals and two shifts, with the latest being after 9 pm sometimes)...tony's had his bath followed by lots of snuggle, book reading, board game playing time (instead of bath and right to bed)...and john and i have had some quality time together in the evenings to talk and work on our little projects (both individual and household)...all before 9/9:30 at night. we are getting more time together as a family, as a couple...more sleep too, and it's making our little house on mayer street a much happier place.

another thing we are working on is our need to "just say no". we find ourselves booking our calendars jam-packed to the point of juggling multiple things on the same day and running the three of us ragged, all because we like to keep everyone happy and can't say no. we have started to limit ourselves for the remainder of this year, allowing for plenty of us (meaning just the three of us) time. starting january 1 we are going to evaluate this a little further even as we were just overwhelmed at times this year and just can't let that happen again.

please don't get me wrong. we love our friends and family. we do. we really, really do. we are so so blessed to have such amazing people in our lives, that we love and care for and they the same in return. this is why it's so hard to say no sometimes...but seriously people, there just isn't enough time. you know it. we know it. if you ask us to do something and we say no, it's not because we don't want to, or, heaven forbid, don't like you. we do. we really, really do. it's just we have to put our family and our needs first now. we've back-burnered ourselves long enough and 2010 is going to be the year for us!